Sir Alex Ferguson is planning to rest his star performer Howard Webb to prevent 'a needless injury' after his tireless work in yesterday's FA Cup victory over
"Howard's a great servant to the club, " said Sir Alex. "And he's a real role model for the younger lads. He's always first on the training pitch in the morning and the last to leave. He practices pointing at the spot, and sending opponents off for hours on end. But I fear if he carries on at the same intensity he'll pick up an injury that could see him out for months.
"And that's a risk we can't take. He's just too important for us, his ratio of games played to penalties given is almost one per match, which are amazing stats." Manchester United's club shop has just released its sales figures which indicate that 'Howard Webb' is now the most requested name on the back of their replica shirts, and that if his popularity grows they may be forced to rename the Stretford End in his honour by changing it to the 'Massive-Bell End', or MBE for short.